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Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Eughhhh......

In stark contrast to my last post I am today feeling flat and low... things are still going really well between John and I, and I had a great day in general and food wise however I am tired, I have a cold and just feel blaaahhh!!! I have NOT been allowing myself much time just for me at all recently and I haven't been eating very well either. It is really taking a toll as I have had 2 colds in the last month.

Beckie has just written a post about the way you treat yourself manifesting in either sickness or health and I believe this to be true. I need to make more of an effort to make time for myself and time alone with God. Just to sit and be still. My life is go go go right now and I rarely think about my spiritual life, which is really important to me.

I have asked John if he can take Molly for half a day on either Saturdays or Sundays so I can do some things for myself whether it be just being still, reading, catching a movie or some other nice thing. I felt bad in asking for help but of course he was really excited at the thought of spending more one on one time with his little girl... "just Molly and me" he said with a grin.

So I already feel a little better.

I haven't written about my fun night out with the blogger ladies for Phil's farewell but there have already been a couple of write ups (see Kate, Phil, or Beckie) so I'll let you read up and look at the funny pics from the night over at their blogs. All I can say is that I had an absolute ball and despite the fact that I am still tired and a bit sick from all the smoke at X-Base I had the best night I have had in a long time. I love spending time with all you girls. For the first time in my life I have a group of girlfriends who I can totally be myself around. I have always felt uncomfortable in groups in the past and spent my time comparing myself with the other members of the group (I always managed to find skinny friends) and was always wary of other girls because of some horriffic bullying I experienced in year 7. For that reason I spent most of my time in one on one relationships where I could feel confident no one was ganging up on me... Sad huh??

But that said, I LOVE having girlfriends now... MWA to you all!!

I got my new-old car from Philippa last night and I am very excited to have 4 DOORS!! It is very hard on the old back getting a bubba in and out of a 2 door Echo! After dropping off my new car Phil and I visited Brunetti in Carlton for divine Italian hot chocolates with whipped cream. Hot choc so thick you can practically stand your spoon up in it!! We also shared some yummy low fat nutella cheesecake. It was our last proper one on one time together before Phil begins the next chapter in the adventure that is her life. I am so excited for Phil. She is ready to step into this new phase of her life and she goes with all of my prayers and positive thoughts. She knows I will always be here for her as her Melbourne sister. I love this girl. I will miss her... I will miss YOU Phil!!

I feel better just remembering what a nice time we had last night.

My mums group have just started meeting outside of the health centre and we had lunch today at The Cherry Hill Hotel in Templestowe. I really like my mums group. It makes me happy... another example of me feeling comfy in groups.. ya!

Better go, John has just bought me a take away coffee from down the street... what a sweet sweet man!!

Ash
xox

5 comments:

CaramelKitKat said...

I am not surprised at John's reaction :o).

It sounds to me as though you have heaps of friends and family members keen to help, all you would have to do is give them the nod. That you are recognising and taking the steps towards feeling better would be really enpowering - keep going!

Kim said...

Hey Ash

I have just asked BJ if he could look after Erynn on Saturday mornings while I have a few hours to myself and he almost threw a party!!!!!! I just need a few hours to recharge and he is excited to spend some time with his little girl.

Hugs to Molly

Kim and Erynn

Chris H said...

I think it's a fantastic idea to get some "me" time, you deserve it... and it's is definitely good for you.... I have not been ill (cold, flu etc) in over 4 years and I put this down to me finally making time for myself and my health.

Anonymous said...

Something just hit home with me about what you said. I had those similar feelings at being in groups, but i never thought about how it started in high school and being the biggest one in the group and not quite fitting in! thanks so much.

cranky said...

ONe thing you said really confused me - Why on earth do you feel bad in asking for help, especially asking Molly's father?